Appeal by your MP

dt polotican

Whoever wishes to do good to his neighbour should do so on small occasions,
for the general good is always invoked by scoundrels, hypocrites and flatterers’.

William Blake


Appeal by your MP on forthcoming local elections.

 

My people, and I do think of you as my people you know. Why? Because I really care about you.
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I’m taking this opportunity to ask you to vote for me because you may not realise it, but it really would be in your best interests; and I am the best man to look after them.
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You’ve seen my face in the leaflets that my supporters have been putting out, and occasionally in the local newspapers and even on TV. You’ve must have noted my winning smile, which many say is very endearing.
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Look into my eyes and you cannot help but recognise the sincerity shining forth; here is a man you might say who you can really trust. So I’m asking you to; Vote for Me!
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With me to represent you it is a foregone conclusion that I will bring many changes to make your lives a little easier. You may think I’m just saying this because I want to keep my second home in the country and continue to get my children privately educated. But look, it is a well-known fact that all parents want to do the best for their children, on this I think we can all agree. I’d also like to say that although my wife (and her uncle and two cousins) work in my office and are therefore on the payroll doesn’t mean what you might think, for they too are dedicated entirely to you.
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Also my workload – answering the phone – going to meetings and so on before going to lunch in some posh and expensive restaurant; well you wouldn’t want your representative to be seen dining in some back street greasy spoon now would you. But it’s a hard life as an MP. Not like the bus driver for instance, who sits in a nice comfortable seat all day, just turning the steering wheel a little left or right.
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Or take the man who digs holes in the road. There you see the honest English Yeoman doing his bit; but then all he has to do is dig up a few clods of earth and so on, a simple task. Of course I’ve never done anything like that myself, but we can’t all go around digging holes can we.
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So, Vote for Me! And I will immediately start working in your interest and with my hand on my heart everything I do will be for you.
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For instance, I will start lobbying for at least another two pence on the minimum hourly wage – even get a few more food banks up and running which I know you sorely need.
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So you see the advantages which will come if you only Vote for Me!
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Since everything I say here is entirely and only in the interests of my constituents I won’t beg for your vote; that would be enough to make anyone cringe and would be most demeaning.
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All I’m saying is please Vote for Me!
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Oh, Please!
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Dave Tomlin
Pic Nick Victor
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