Blindfolded brahmins

 

A team of brahmins with impaired vision examines the royal white elephant

 

1. brahmin the biologist happens to feel the trunk and passes his judgment

fuzzy-furred, red-eyed, wet-nosed, and tactile
it’s not an ingrown toenail, it’s not a french poodle, it’s not a walrus
it has an excellent olfactory perception
it has a pair of blowholes on its head
this serpent knows how to slither down a snake pit
how to pace up and down the eyebrows of the society
how to steal up on an oiled bamboo pole, how to logroll, how to spell
i’m not talking about my eldest son
gentlemen, what we have here is a pachyderm
a very, very delicate animal

2. brahmin the numerologist holds the tusks in his hands and delivers his assessment

these two enormous phalli are genuine godsends
they are as sharp as number 8, as silky as number 8
as generously proportioned as number 8
as reassuring as number 8…
eight or killjoy
eight is the repository of sacred wisdom
eight is the lucky number for growth
eight is above karmic consequence
eight is for ‘elected’, eight is for ‘re-elected’
eight is the blue cheese in the southern hemisphere
eight is the fish paste in the northern hemisphere
eight is big push, eight is perpetual peace
eight can protect you from four sorts of harm
eight can deliver you from five types of foes
eight can bring you all two thousand spices
eight will bless you with thirty-eight auspices
eight thousand dollars a month, fine by me

3. brahmin the economist bumps into the elephant’s tummy…

ceteris paribus, it may be a bull, it may be a bear
it may be a free rider in free trade for a free lunch
this means that the mean reversion may or may not be inevitable
if corruption is her comparative advantage
we are a pack of complimentary goods to this wholesome mammal
it’s full of animal spirits and antitrusts, within the limits
of bounded rationality, it might or might not behave as i expected
shall we call it a colossal contagion, just like us,
this monster has stomached a lot of moral hazards
then again, in the long run we are all dead

4. brahmin the commander sniffs around the elephant’s hindquarters…

if it feels like a trojan horse, if it stinks like a trojan horse
if it quacks like a trojan horse, it is a trojan horse
– Oppose those relying on external elements, acting as stooges, holding negative views
– Oppose those trying to jeopardize stability of the State and progress of the nation
– Oppose foreign nations interfering in internal affairs of the State
– Crush all internal and external destructive elements as the common enemy

deny, delay, deceive, disrupt, destroy
uphold the national causes, get ready for total people’s defence

5. the brahmin who is never there

thank you for your message, i am currently out of office
i will get back to you as soon as possible

 

ko ko thett

 

 


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