Red cabbage recipe. Chop one in half and shred it finely. Fry in olive oil with a chopped red onion, cooking apple, teaspoon of cinnamon, grated fresh ginger and inch of salt. Add a handful of raisins and a quarter pint of vegetable stock. Simmer for 15 minutes. This will be very nice with a baked potato, and a lump of protein like a sausage, some chicken or freshly slaughtered tofu.
Meanwhile, take the other half of the cabbage and study it intently. With some felt tips pens to hand, lose yourself in it – imaginatively speaking – for a while, and see which major piece of expensive world art hoves into view. Colour it in.
For me, it was The Munch by Edward Scream (apologies to Barry Humphries).
Cost of The Munch? £75 Million.
My version? – Half a red cabbage – 50pee. Let the bidding begin.