GOLFHENGE

President Trump’s first ‘pitch’ to Prime Minister May in our excitingly Trumpified ‘Special Relationship’ ;

First, let’s clear away those shabby old stones at Stonehenge, they are a mess and they always disappoint American tourists. Let’s get real and build GOLFHENGE, a totally new TRUMPGOLF experience. Don’t worry, we will RETAIN the ancient ambiance of the site by insisting ALL CADDIES are REAL Druids or at least LOOK like real Druids and are able to say druid stuff at appropriate times. The Stones themselves will not just be used as hardcore for the HOTEL/CASINO complex to be called DONALD’S DRUIDDREAMS, they will be put to brilliant use as innovative hazards on each hole of the course. There are about 18 stones, right? we can knock up some new ones if necessary and if there are one or two left over they will make great urinals in the 19th hole, how cool is that? Pissing all over 5000 years of History! You know you love it really. It’s funny! But it’s also respectful and educational. Everyone needs to go at some point and so the ancient importance of the real estate will be understood by all visitors to the Restroom… I see a neon art work commissioned from Tracey Semen reading PISSTORY LESSON hung over the urinal… So Prime Minister May, with GOLFHENGE (featuring; DONALD’S DRUIDDREAMS) agreed for the new year I can see us working on many projects in the coming years… don’t take the fact that I haven’t grabbed your pussy personally, it’s strictly an age thing (just half a century out doll! x) … love the shoes though… if you get me cut on some good scotch t’nite I might lick ’em! X

Roddy McDevitt
Pic Claire Palmer