Karl Marx was a snob.
He’d describe the proletariat
As a “sack of potatoes”.
He himself lived
In the West End
Off the proceeds of gambling
On the London stock market.
Marx was funded by Friedrich Engels,
His foxhunting friend,
Whose family firm in Manchester
Made money from child labour.
Why do people insist
That Karl Marx was left wing?
He was an aesthetic snob,
Who said that progress was measured
“By the social position of the fair sex,”
And then patronisingly added,
“The ugly ones included.”
His enormous bullish head
Presides over Highgate Cemetery.
Some come to worship. Others recall Stalin
And his thirty million dead.
“When we have hanged the last capitalist”,
Marx said, “then we will hang the salesman
Who sold us the rope.”
Thirty million died in Stalin’s gulags.
They weren’t all evil rope salesmen
From the paranoid Stalin’s local ironmonger’s,
But millions of peasants from the Ukraine
Whose money Moscow wanted.
Nothing wrong with communism.
It’s just that nobody ever tried it.
Nowadays people are tired of waiting
For the revolution:
Mistrusting top-heavy leaders
And self-important vanguards
They’re doing it themselves,
Horizontally not hierarchically –
A consensual communalism
Which works electronically
At the speed of light.
Pic: Claire Palmer