Only in Walsall would you see these things (still) –

 

Partying pregnant mum off her nut

The peaky fucking blinders

Self employed window cleaners

Dax’s wax

Full to the brim milk floats

Pound shops that sell things for under £1

Buses that accept loose change

Mr sizzle

Perilous pigeons so brute they can’t die

Bescot market selling fake Calvin Klein

Two Yates’s pubs

Dog muck in shop doorways

That same shop forever closing and re-opening

Out of date tax disks

Friends from school that remember you

Wolf-whistling kids cramming spam

More sausage than sushi rolls

Pubs that cash cheques

Pubs that serve anyone, just not everyone

The TV times

Curly Wurly’s and a Chomp for 25p

A celebrity called Mad Dog Deon

Someone’s big toe in the middle of a crime scene behind your Granddads house

A comedy night with Russell Brand

A Homeless guy with more friends than you and I

Blackpool in people’s dreams

A statue of Ronald in McDonalds

A Salvation Army store hidden behind Starbucks

A Salvation Army store with more customers than Starbucks

No Pret

A queue for the old fashion telephone boxes

Misuse of the words – kid and duck

Pugs on steroids chasing Staffordshire bull terriers

A man in the opticians that’s forgotten his glasses

A six-strong family all claiming JSA

Orange chips that make you sick

Flying waltzers at the fair

Cobwebs on the paintings in an art gallery

A scrap at the Sunday league cup final with two dad’s running as linesmen

Places with names like Henley N Arden

Divorce not marriage

Millionaires undercover

The wrong time on the town hall clock

A chap on the markets selling odd boots

Old £1 coins

 

 

And nothing but love x

 

 

 

Zack –Ashley
Illustration Mathilda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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