He canters with his ‘Chippy’ chum, Charlie Brooks,
Caught with DVDs filled with lesbian porn;
He gallops with Rebekah, Murdoch’s pet eavesdropper,
With whom Dave’s been hopelessly love-lorn.
Then there’s Clarkson the petrol-head bully
Inviting the Heythrop Hunt onto his land:
A vicious racist who classes foxes as ‘vermin’,
He cheers “On! On! On!” as they’re killed.
When police raided the future PM’s Bullingdon Club
For trashing Oxford restaurants year after year,
Tail-coated Dave hid in the bushes rather than owning up –
The Bunterish coward was seen trembling with fear.
Likewise Cameron reveals that hunting scares him,
That “sheer terror” strikes his dismal soul,
“I battled to control my powerful steed and careered
“Through trees and bushes – out of control.”
His gushing description begs the question ‘why do it?’
And why wish Parliament to make it legal…?
So that braying plutocrats can ‘blood’ their kids’ cheeks
As they try to make killing wildlife fashionable?
Heythrop hounds carry away fox corpse at Peasewell Wood
The answer is that the man now commissioning drones
And who bombed Libya to smithereens
Has both an empathy bypass and a class-ridden lust
For power and kudos by whatever means.
Hunting helps him to bond with his peer group
And to reinforce his class prejudice
Thanks to a Dark Age relic from a feudal Britain
That takes pleasure in animal sacrifice.
The gutless Cameron clings to useless Trident missiles
Being unable to tell the US to get lost,
Whilst Cameron’s quarry is too cunning ever to fill its lair
With an object that could turn it into dust.
Cf. David Cameron’s local hunt convicted after RSPCA prosecution