As the ambulance and squad car pulled up
Outside Lux Massage
Bingo was squeezing his ample frame
Out through the stockroom window –
If only he had cut down on the chocolate
As he had resolved
Back at the beginning of the year
This terrible year
Algernon had thought for a long time
Clarissa would look better
And actually quite good
In a face mask
Don’t touch me! screamed Sally
In the general direction of Henry the Husband
As she attempted for the umpteenth time
The solo oboe part
In Mozart’s Oboe Concerto in C Major,
The bit Mike the Milkman used to whistle
Before he was run over by his own float
Be careful!
You’re over-watering me!
Bemoaned the houseplant
Whose name I can never remember –
It might be Zantedeschia Aethiopica –
You can see my problem
The plantation is going to pot
You can’t get the staff
Maybe it would be better to move
Into one of the service industries
Pet grooming
I could do pet grooming
But no fish
I won’t do fish
The horse looked at Henry
Henry looked at the horse
There was an understanding
Seven elephants were at the pool
Hanging out
They tell the time by the position of the Sun
Soon a bunch of tourists will be along
The process of process
But it will end, said Elephant #4, eventually
Martin Stannard
Montage: Rupert Loydell