Submission Queries


dear madam or sir
upon entering your domain
shall i take off my hat and press my hair
with my tail firmly tucked between my legs
shall i look extremely humbled
incredibly meek and undoubtedly grateful
do i have to cringe, kowtow or deeply bow at you
do i have to take off my shoes, and my socks too
should i stand up upon seeing you
coming into the meeting room
should i sit down only after you

what’s the right protocol, the right etiquette
the right manner in your high culture
to approach your throne from your left or from your right
to circle you clockwise or counter-clockwise
when kissing your white-gloved hand
how lightly should i hold your fingers
how softly should my lips touch your knuckles
while curtsying or giving you a wai
am i allowed to look up to your grace
are my eyes allowed to meet yours

dear madam or sir, my proposal entitled,
‘snotty snot: a complete history of my snot,
that was appallingly slightly thinner than normal, yet
remorselessly dangling right under the threshold of my nares,
when i woke up at eleven this morning,’
might not ring your chimes
but to you, dear madam or sir,
without whom the publication of critically acclaimed and
commercially successful treatises on the creation of the universe
and the meaning of life would never have happened,
this project might be worth your while

 

ko ko thett

 

 


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