THE BEEB’S GONE BANANAS

(Notes on the Corbyn Clampdown)
‘I sat at home and watched TV
Thanking christ for the BBC’ (The Pogues, Rain St.)
Like Shane I love the BBC or did until this Corbyn Clampdown
The BBC
Has always had
A cosy thing
With whoever’s in
But since Corbyn
The Corporation
Has gone
Banana republic craven
The Beeb’s gone bananas
She’s wearing pyjamas
She’s The Emperor’s new llama
It’s a political corruption drama
Worthy of Panorama
BUT will Panorama
Explore this thorny issue?
The tissue of lies
Presented as news?
Cabinet views
Dressed up as fact
Government reviews
Stuck on the backburner
As Iraq burns once again
The one decent man
In Parliament
Blackballed
As a security threat
Cat called
As ‘unelectable’
After a landslide
Leadership victory
And an increased vote
By-election win
Slanderously
Scandalously
Labelled terrorist
Sympathiser
Anti-semite
Islamist appeaser
What do you want Auntie?
Julius fucking Ceaser?
The Beeb’s gone bananas
She’s wearing pyjamas
She’s The Emperor’s new llama
It’s a political corruption drama
Worthy of Panorama
BUT will Panorama
Broadcast
This sorry tale?
Not on your nelly mamma
Not on your telly mamma
Not on your radio dial
It’s alright Ma!
It ain’t vile
It’s ALL propaganda
These
Totalitarian days
Everyone’s at it
It’s the latest racket
Sit back
And catch the tennis
The cricket
The bootless footie
The Antiques roadshow
News just in
Apparently
The propped up pandas
In London zoo
Are going to have a baby too
If it turns out
It’s just another bamboo poo
You’ll hear it first
From you know who
The Beeb’s gone bananas
She’s wearing pyjamas
She’s the Emperor’s new llama
It’s a political corruption drama
Worthy of Panorama
Blair and his Chilcott-shivering
Spin doctors
And the Guardian
And all the usual
Tabloid and broadsheet
Business as usual bitches
Are in on it
The hysterical stitch up
Of the last honourable
Englishman…
I smell the blood
Of the last honourable
Englishman
Fi FI FO FUM
The BBC
Has always had
A cosy thing
With whoever’s in
But since Corbyn
The Corporation
And all components
Of the spiritually desolate
Establishment machine
Have gone
Banana monarchy craven

Roddy McDevitt
Illustration Nick Victor

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