I’ve been here for hours
waiting for you to hatch out of a doorway
a manifestation of my desire
nothing happens
nobody comes
the whole bar is strangled and wired up
with Christmas decorations
the whole room in some kitsch bondage
like some Seasonal S&M
sadness draped and hung from the ceiling
lights that flick on and off
like eyes blinking in cellar darkness
every message I sent was a fucking Mayday
.
I just took a plane back from Beirut
I had reels of film from Dodge City
The Milita was still chucking bodies off the
Holiday Inn
when I took a taxi to the airport
a city so full of holes it’s like a concrete colander
you can see through the city East to West
now I’m back what’s left of emotions is in a
overnight bag
straight into London
compassion?
a few lines of Shelly?
“For there are deeds which have no form, sufferings which have no tongue.”
swigging Duty Free Scotch in the toilet at
Heathrow trying not to puke
where are the open arms?
the stored up feelings the Lady Lazarus of Love
had waiting
thought your heart would pull up in a pink
Cadillac
Jackie Wilson – Lonely Teardrops on the car
radio
now I’m in a London bar trying to forget
Shamir never made it out of the cellar
the gunman took their time finishing them off
as they looted the shop upstairs
all I’m thinking about is Annette and romance
but nothing happens and I’m drunk by now
the bar door closes up like a wound
as nobody
arrives
.
Malcolm Paul
.