The world spins like a car on ice, tragically elegant. We’re not here to intervene, or even mourn, but to award points based on Technical Elements and Grade of Execution. We’ve a job to do, and professionalism demands straight faces, but it’s hard not to flinch at the quadruple axels and frankly wanton headbangers playing out in real time. The world whips off its costume, and it’s no longer a car performing these reckless pirouettes, but a school bus packed with oblivious innocents, shrieking with laughter that’s doomed not to last. It jumps and lifts, jumps and lifts, jumps and lifts, as blue lights flash, red lights flash, and sirens doppler in 3/4 time. It’s breaking every rule, from minor technicalities to bringing the sport into disrepute, but no one can deny it’s a dazzling display, and we raise our cards at the perfect conflagration: 6.0, 6.0, 6.0, 7.0, 11.00, 89 seconds to midnight.
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Oz Hardwick
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