The little fluffy kittens playing with their balls of wool,
they’re very lovely, aren’t they? (Editor: if it’s possible,
please insert a photograph of Natalie Portman just about
here. Thanks.) You know, it’s no easy matter to give
the histories of men and women in terms familiar
to the apprehension of a very young mind. For young ladies
too it has been my intention chiefly to write, because boys
are generally permitted the use of their fathers’ libraries
at a much earlier age than girls are, and I like to be thought
of as thoughtful. (By the way, if Natalie Portman is unavailable
then either Jennifer Lawrence or Sandra Bullock are on call
as back-up.) The fluffy kittens, they are so cutesy-cute,
ain’t they? And if it should transpire that my writing is too
Araldite® for the young ladies, then the young gentlemen,
who can read the stuff so much better, may offer their kind
assistance in explaining such parts as are hardest for them
to understand, and when they have helped them to get over
the difficulties, then perhaps they will read to them, or perhaps
condescend to share in their play with the aforementioned fluff
balls. (Actually, I’ve changed my mind: use Jennifer Lawrence;
Natalie Portman can be first reserve. Thank you, etc.)
.
Martin Stannard
.