Statement of Compliance (Gas &Air)

do you understand the seriousness of your condition, Mrs Vaas? for the rest of your life, managed and bled, you will smell of meat. the timing is unfortunate. at this site, the death ratio is 1: 200

if you have any queries, try again. you are the first bother to report the number. have you right to reside? Your scan will take place in the carpark. you should subside quickly

some ladies do not require anaesthetic at all. there is no need to fast or find the examination comfortable! when you arrive in the room, your focus will be on space and power. hold the notes tight to your chest

shapes shrink as the tension to the thread is released. it works best if you take deep breaths in the future. if you are not happy, your referral will lapse

further advice: nothing happens. contort for results: it’s a contrast reaction. saline will be injected through the cervix. this should not make you feel strange

you are being seen to ensure you are normal. please expect delays in your journey to becoming a good patient. shuffle down to the bottom of the bed. you don’t want a reminder

have you been forgotten? are you willing for tissues and/or fluid samples to be used? what is your dress code? your weight, please. conform to figures. (complications with the interpreter) risk to others: no value

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Melisande Fitzsimons
Picture Rupert Loydell

 

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