Sometimes he would sit with his back against the trunk of a tree, draw his feet up, take his legs in his arms and rest his chin on his knee. Even in this posture he could throw no light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would stand, place the palm of each hand on the top of his head, lift one foot from the ground and place it against the knee of the other leg. Still he could throw no light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would for an instant see the woman coming and going. Then she closed the curtains and it became apparent that the universe was not shrinking but expanding at an ever-increasing rate, but those new binoculars were already proving to be well worth the money although he could not, as yet, throw light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would kneel as if in supplication to a deity, place his forehead on the tiles, clasp his hands together behind his back and imagine handcuffs binding him. Yet he could throw no light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would stretch out upon his back on the lawn, having first made sure the grass was dry with no hint of dampness, and raise both straightened legs as high as he could manage, holding the position until the pain became too much to bear, and at the same time he would rapidly flex the fingers of each hand as if to overcome a stiffness in the knuckles, even though no such stiffness existed. But he could not throw light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would lay on his stomach, arms out to the side in the manner of aircraft wings, then he would lower his undercarriage and imagine he was coming in to land. Even positioned thus he could throw no light upon the matter.
Sometimes she did not close the curtains, and if he had one regret it was that his eyesight
was failing. Actually he had another regret, which was that he could throw no light upon the matter.
Sometimes he would push the boat out and remove his head and place it on the garden seat next to him, and stroll down to the pond, where he would dip his toes into the icy freezy-cold water. But still he could throw no light upon the matter.
He knew it would probably turn out to be nothing at all, but he took some pleasure in imagining a future together. But loneliness had never been something that needed to be overcome: one always had the comfort of a darkened room.
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Conrad Titmuss
Picture Dave Cooper
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