Stanley ripped up his lawn
to replace it with artificial turf,
cuts down the ivy that grows on his gazebo
to adorn it with manageable plastic ivy,
he put a plaster cast hedgehog by the door
and an aluminum heron by the pond,
he divorced his wife and replaces her
with a fully-functioning autobot replica
and they sit together in the gazebo
sipping alcohol-free wine, yet there
is a void within still not satisfied,
it’s only when he catches
his own reflection in the glow
of her LED light-bulb eyes
that he knows he has
just one more item
left to replace