Regression: The Latest Figures


Millions or billions: I can’t imagine either, so I break it all down into manageable concepts. Lions mill in city streets, some in suits and some in rags, but every one of them hungry for something. They mill in shopping malls, clutching cups-for-life and sustainable bags of meat. It’s not sustainable, but it is what it is, and it is the first time in around 13,000 years that lions have walked these shores, and that surely warrants some kind of celebration. Meanwhile, my bus is running late, and is standing room only with canaries en route to the mines. Given the unimaginable odds, there’s little point buying a return ticket and, besides, the lions will soon let fall their human disguises. It’ll be carnage in the clubs and bars, and who’ll pick up the bill in the morning?



Oz Hardwick
Picture Nick Victor







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