How long until I find out my wife is a cake?
The closest-ever images of the sun
reveal it is covered in miniature flares
but if you have been made unemployed
you should stop reading any books you hate.
Tired of being Boris Johnson’s patsies,
Russian state-sponsored hackers
are using Covid-19 as a smokescreen
to shrink Wispa Gold and Double Decker
as part of a pseudoscientific welfare racket.
I don’t know whether to celebrate summer
or prepare for the worst. Data suggests
we must be battle-ready for winter,
must embrace re-opened restaurants
and bars, catch kangaroos on the run.
Are UK cases rising or falling in your area?
Enjoy a summertime surge, working from home
and stop handing out Halloween sweets
to children. No backslapping or bonhomie:
this will devastate the poorest nations.
© Rupert M Loydell