TIRED AND BLUE

For Dorothy Parker

The first thing I remember
was ice-green water
only water…and only ice-green.
I was gazing out of a window at the rain
and these huge waves frothing on the sand –
simply staring at falling rain
trickling away…
like drops on a window-pane –
in a haze of it…an imperfect film
blurred and flickering –
that pale blue sky
and those ceaseless Strauss waltzes
and this inexplicable pain in my heart
and then gradually…
so tired so much of the time –
tired and blue.
And there I’d be!
Like those old horses on Sixth Avenue –
struggling and slipping…
I kissed one of them once! –
Well he looked sad standing there
and I liked him –
and – well – nothing …
nothing astonishing
nothing separate
and that constant thought of death
nice and restful…
those tightly stored tears
that kind of drowsy cheer…
in a haze of it –
struggling and slipping
into Shakespeare’s amiable death.
And there I’d be!

 

 

Phil Bowen

 

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