A village some miles to the east of us reported an unexpected outbreak of Santas! We rushed off to investigate:
“You lookin’ at us!?” Holme, Lancashire, 15th December 2020
The rumours proved all too frighteningly true . . .
Later, under cover of darkness, we went to discover how widespread the phenomenon was. Who were these alarming creatures and from whence were they coming? At Trevenna, near Cark in Cartmel, we thought we’d discovered the mother ship, but we could’ve been wrong:
Cosmic ship sailing the night. Trevenna, Cark in Cartmel, 16th December 2020
Back in the comparative safety of daylight, a bungalow in Shernest, appeared to be generating squadrons of Santas – and vaguely associated archetypes: reindeer, fairies, snowmen and Nutcrackers, angel Virgin Marys, penguins, mushrooms, logmen (!?) and gnomes – not to mention giant candles:
A new dawn . . . 15th December 2020
Largely, I’ll shut up now and stick to the visual evidence:
Santas with black tasers
Socially distanced Santa boozing in facemask
Bloody Jacob, grumble, grumble . . . Cumbria, Dec 2020
Suspiciously furtive (or fear-struck) Santa
Amœbic or alien Santa
Hail Snowman for Santa is defeated . . . Crewe, December 2019
Mutant Santa (though I’m told it’s an Olaf).
In Grange-over-Sands, the strangest decoration my two young daughters and I saw – in the window of the Christian Hotel – was an upside-down Christmas Tree. Being erratically educated and thinking of the popular, Black Mass/Satanic connotations or misunderstandings[i] of the upside-down Cross in Christianity, we became very suspicious of this ominous and sinister object. Yet apparently, this upside-down tree malarkey dates right back to Saint Boniface[ii]. Upside-down trees are also, currently, a trend[iii] it seems – you need look no further than eBay[iv].
See left hand window for the upside-down tree. Grange-over-Sands, Dec 16th 2020
Rather meanly, seeing some pagans worshipping an oak tree, Boniface chopped it down to replace it with a fir – they must’ve all had to hang around a while – and then, chopping that down, used its triangle shape to explain the Holy Trinity . . . All of which doesn’t explain why the fir needed to be axed to provide this illustration, since either way up its more isosceles than equilateral. Now, if Boniface could have got the fir to grow upside-down – after all, he was a Saint – not only would that have been impressive, it might even have made up for the comedown of replacing Oak with mere fir. What most surprised me about this legend, is that despite working at Crediton in the mid-1980s, I’d never come across it before. Well
acquainted with Boniface (not personally, but the Devonshire town was his birthplace), as well as familiar with Crediton’s beautiful, red sandstone church – which has the grandeur of a cathedral – the Saint’s tree-chopping prowess had completely passed me by. A Liverpudlian friend of mine – we used to eat our sandwiches in Crediton’s churchyard – was convinced, despite all evidence to the contrary, that Boniface must’ve been a Geordie, hence his name: Bonny-face. Whereas I imagined it was because he was craggy looking and determined. Either would do I suppose, to further the career of a Saint.
He may not be craggy or bonny-faced . . . but at least he can levitate! Dec 16th 2020
Inflatable Nutcracker with polar pal. Angler’s Arms, Haverthwaite, 16th Dec 2020
It’s Wonderful Me!
Santa on a spangly night
“Hey – I’m Angus.” Angler’s Arms, Haverthwaite, Cumbria
Politburo from outer space
It’s that cloned gang again
Snowman fends off one of Earth’s aggressive and antlered wheelie bins
Dickensian Father Christmas under lamplight, calmly consults the South Lakes A-Z
© Lawrence Freiesleben,
Cumbria, 17th December 2020
[iii] Though no doubt a very unstable one! https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/christmas-ideas/a29340152/upside-down-christmas-tree-trend-meaning/