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Since we are effectively restricted to three minutes, we must keep things precise, restrict all travel to within a single room, and reduce our communications to nods and small gestures. Our emotions should be expressed – and preferably felt – with eyes only, or ideally not at all. It is advisable to avoid reading, or to restrict reading to haiku and unambiguous warning notices. It is human nature to ask questions, so it is better for all if we leave our humanity to one side until circumstances change: please leave it outside the main entrance to your property, but do not step across the threshold. Failure to comply will result in consequences you cannot imagine. Imagination may only be exercised while sleeping: this will be rigorously policed. Because of the nature of the emergency, the police will be granted extraordinary powers to search on suspicion, to find the fault in all of us, to lift small objects by thought alone, and to arrest time. Since we are effectively restricted to three minutes, the authorities will accept no responsibility, but will condone futile sacrifices to appease residual guilt or fear if restricted to domestic kitchens. We are all in this together. There are now ninety seconds remaining: please nod to confirm your understanding and compliance.



Oz Hardwick

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