Catullus be cool
Adopt a stoic stance –
Sex was never meant to satisfy
And tactically
In nature’s constant dice-game
What could be the point?
Survival of all species
Relies on reproduction
Keeping every being love-enamoured –
We are that human animal
Especially ‘successful’
From mating all year round –
And this with scant respect
For sober boundary –
Stags lock horns and tigers jaws
To claim exclusive love rights
But only in due season –
Meanwhile the flea will outperform
All-comers and run high-jumps
This prolific parasite surpasses
Every man in ceaseless generation
Although – I grant you this –
He has advantage over us
He is not – as we –
Perpetually
Preoccupied in wars
PRIAPUS
Don’t sit in your trap watching telly
A budgie in its cage with a little bell
A cuttlebone a plastic wheel a Hell
Of entertainment –
Get out and clear those English weeds away
From your laughable landfill garden
That’s where you’ll find me
Pagan and ignoble –
Of all your Roman gods in plaster cast
Trust me –
On the first full day of Spring
With a lucky drop of sun
Even you may find rejuvenation
Bernard Saint
Illustration: Claire Palmer
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