Hua hadn’t looked in the Tupperware container in the fridge for over a week. When she took it out and removed the lid the cheese crawled onto the countertop, spotted with brown and blue mould, sweating.
‘You bastard,’ the cheese said. ‘How could you do that to me?’
Hua began to apologise. ‘I’m so sorry, I….’
‘It’s a bit late for that now,’ the cheese said curtly. It was clearly in a bad way. Hua wasn’t sure what to do.
‘I stink horribly, it’s embarrassing,’ the cheese said.
‘…’
‘Well don’t just stand there. Fetch a knife or something and try to get me cleaned up.’
Hua picked out a sharp blade from one of the drawers and began to scrape away the mould.
‘Ouch, that hurts,’ complained the cheese.
‘I’m doing my best,’ Hua said. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
‘Let’s just take it slowly, OK?’ the cheese said. ‘I’m feeling somewhat fragile.’
Simon Collings
Picture Sky Cheese