Maggie’ll Fix It


Well, howzabout that then, guys and gals?


Sir Jimmy Savile spent every New Year’s Eve at Chequers,

For eleven years running, with Mrs. Thatcher.

Might they have swapped stories about child abuse –

The fluorescent DJ and the Tory Milk Snatcher?


“This is Sir Jim’ll Fix It,” Thatcher would say to her guests,

Proudly announcing him in her strident voice –

Sir Jimmy who’d just fixed it for a fearful thirteen-year-old

In the back of his golden Rolls Royce –


Sir Jimmy, who’d tell his victims he’d fix it for them to meet Cilla Black,

And his close friends, John, Paul, George and Ringo,

If his unwitting target was nice to “our pal” in his track suit bottoms

While he’d pant and jabber in his non-stop pop lingo.


“Ooh yes, you’d like Prince Charles, and he’d like you –

Goodness gracious. What they put up with – him and Di.

Who’d be royal, eh? But who do they come to for marital advice? Yours truly.

‘Cos they all trust in your Uncle Jim, the Royals. Would I lie?’


‘Now, if you’d just let me put my tongue down your throat –

My way, you see, of telling you not to say a word.

“Cos little girls”, as my dad, who was a wise old bird, used to say,

“Little girls should be seen and not heard.”’


“Now, seeing as how you’ve been so super good, guess what? As it ‘appens,

I could fix it for you to meet our lovely Queen!

Cos I’m SIR Jimmy Savile, you see, so I’ve to kneel down in front of Her Majesty,

Just like what you’ve been. Now, little Tracy, let’s do that again.”


He told a nine year old cub scout with a Jim’ll Fix It badge

That he’d “have to earn it”, then how – then to keep quiet.

“I know your house. Noone’d believe you. I’m King Jimmy.”

“I was petrified. I just sat there thinking, ‘Why me?'”.


Sir Jimmy Savile fucked up the future of over three hundred kids

And he’s deservedly vilified, yet his New Year’s Eve host

Fucked up the future of millions more kids than the vile Savile

And instead Margaret Thatcher is the Tory party’s toast.


It’s emerged that Savile had the keys to a hospital mortuary

And relished fondling corpses as a nocturnal hobby;

Equally his Tory soul mate killed off a more caring society:

She profited from its corpse, then called it progress.


Heathcote Williams  

Illustration: Claire Palmer

Read by Alan Cox


By Heathcote Williams

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3 Responses to Maggie’ll Fix It

    1. Through poetry make our views known
      Through invisible, untrackable telepathy,
      While the sky is afire with wifi control,
      Even while the kettles are on the boil,
      Seize power!

      Comment by Michael K on 20 October, 2012 at 1:32 pm
    2. Fantastic! Love the line about millions more suffering child abuse at the hands of Thatcher.

      Comment by Dean Cavanagh on 9 November, 2012 at 12:44 am
    3. Bang on me old codger.What a mess.Do we need an English Hitler or perhaps an English Stalin to clean up this mess…because if this is Democracy then the Greeks deserve all that they are getting now.Its time the people took to the streets and demanded a clean sweep .Go get Cromwell’s skeleton (if it still exists) or perhps we need Guido to do it . The unholly alliance of Big Business,the City and venal,corrupt politicians will lead this country to anarchy …we already got a whiff from the kids rioting.Next time perhaps it won’t be the kids …and the extremists in our society are just rearing to go to exploit what divides us and tearing apart what unites. After all Hitler got elected .It won’t be long.Meanwhile the Chinese rub hands together…happy with the future demise of the EU knowing that it will be much easier to pick us off one by one.

      Comment by C.MOURAO on 9 November, 2012 at 10:22 am

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