I’m designing a new set of Barbie dolls
that makes the latest range look dated—
Gay Barbie, Trans Barbie, Noetisexual Barbie—
so, so passé.
Here’s Menopausal Barbie,
sweaty, tired, her bones well hidden
underneath the fat she just can’t shift
despite all the diets, struggling on
with adolescent children,
aging parents
and Ken who Doesn’t Understand
and still can’t load the washing machine.
Menopause Barbie’s mum, OAP Barbie,
is larger than life inside her home
but unseeable when she ventures out,
her gray hair a Harry-Potter-esque
cloak of invisibility. Sometimes
there is an OAP Ken lurking in the corners
but sometimes he’s dead.
If he’s still around
she often casts a wistful glance
at the dustbin.
But here is Phoenix Barbie,
all bright feathers leaping from the ashes
of the bonfire of what went before;
discarding all the trash of yesterday,
creating a new life of endless possibilities.
Phoenix Barbie smiles, picks up her pen,
writes a poem or two.
Tonnie Richmond
Tonnie Richmond lives in Leeds and has spent many summers as a volunteer archaeologist in Orkney. She has had poems published by Yaffle, Dragon/Yaffle, Driech, Leeds Trinity University and others. Her first pamphlet will be published later this year.
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