1. Queenie the Cat

Queenie, when you leave my lap
And I find loads of fur on my trousers
I sometimes get a bit miffed.
But when you lick my nose I’m in heaven.

2. Hammy the Hamster

Hammy, I know you know Hammy is only
A nickname, and that you were christened Horncastle,
The softest little handful of joy
A hand can hold, theoretically.

3. Henrietta the Hen

Henrietta, I love you and your eggs.
I become a little bit emotional when I fry them.
Then I remember
They’re only eggs.

4. Spencer the Snake

Spencer, you were without doubt a very fine
Draught excluder, and now I live in
A house where the doors actually fit their frames
I’m happy you can have a sleepy retirement.

5. Larry the Llama

Larry, using Google translate
I would like to say that Te amo,
Y en particular su abrigo,
Lo que haría una muy buena chaqueta de invierno.

6. Alec the Ass

Alec, you are the greatest ass.
I am sure if you had been a poet
You would have been
Her Majesty’s laureate.


© Eric Eric, 2021

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