1. Queenie the Cat
Queenie, when you leave my lap
And I find loads of fur on my trousers
I sometimes get a bit miffed.
But when you lick my nose I’m in heaven.
2. Hammy the Hamster
Hammy, I know you know Hammy is only
A nickname, and that you were christened Horncastle,
The softest little handful of joy
A hand can hold, theoretically.
3. Henrietta the Hen
Henrietta, I love you and your eggs.
I become a little bit emotional when I fry them.
Then I remember
They’re only eggs.
4. Spencer the Snake
Spencer, you were without doubt a very fine
Draught excluder, and now I live in
A house where the doors actually fit their frames
I’m happy you can have a sleepy retirement.
5. Larry the Llama
Larry, using Google translate
I would like to say that Te amo,
Y en particular su abrigo,
Lo que haría una muy buena chaqueta de invierno.
6. Alec the Ass
Alec, you are the greatest ass.
I am sure if you had been a poet
You would have been
Her Majesty’s laureate.
© Eric Eric, 2021