We’re tired of all the lies and allegories;
the tables have turned and I’ve learned
that I shouldn’t ask you anything.
Everything you have and are is a reflection
of your priorities; these things are not
your fault. You are always mired in guilt
and shame. It can make you feel tiny,
nothing you do is good enough
or ever will be. Hold on to the bad stuff
and get mad. A couple of months ago,
I was the most innocent person on Earth;
now I am pole-axed, mumbling and adrift.
Nod along and pretend to absorb everything,
suck it up, stop bitching, and get to work:
be blamed for everything in a relationship.
Acting stupid, guilty, sick, or incapable
are among the shrewdest ways of evading
self-responsibility. Best not to speak.
You should believe that everything in life
is your fault, even if it’s not. Accept that
misery and joy come from your own being,
consider complaint as a form of confession,
an admission of an inadmissible fault.
Only you have the power to change it.
But before you turn yourself into a scapegoat
for all that goes wrong in your life, hear this:
I am really, really sorry. I really truly am.
© Rupert M Loydell