Intermittent reinforcements
And a chemical dependence
Left me obsessed
With the sporadic affections
Of a romantic tyrant
Chemistry led to physics
And lines were drawn sharply there
I was ordered not to transgress
Into the radical and uncertain
Realm of emotions
A territory that exposed
The glaring failings
Of a so-called professional
His eyes, so gorgeously expressive
Betrayed the pornographic bravado
Of his bona fide bachelorism
Pissed off with myself, I liked him a lot
Enjoyed talking and laughing with him
As much as being in his arms
But the instructions were non-negotiable
Encounters founded upon the principle
That this was only
A fling, a giggle
My dreamy lover
Tall, handsome and very dark
Revealed himself as the fascist leader
Of the Love Opposition Party
Was it love, or was it Stockholm syndrome?
His tongue assaulted my mouth
Like some kind of pre-emptive strike
But I could have sworn it had been a caress
There was no time, no room
For tenderness
Compliance would have won me Mr Right Now
But ever the rebel, I resisted
Risked radically, uncertainly
And barged into the forbidden domain
Like some kind of deranged Antigone
Or erotic Joan of Arc
Destined to disobey unjust laws
By placing my heart on the line
Because my feelings for him were genuine
Because love is the ultimate revolution
And there are no stops on this train
So if a crash is what it takes
Then at least I stand a chance
Of walking away
Mary Wild
Illustration: Claire Palmer