UK Demand Referendum To Leave Michael Gove

Gove: ‘As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike’

After years of unhappiness due to huge financial waste and ever-increasing levels of pointless and patronising bureaucracy the UK public have finally demanded a referendum to leave Micheal Gove. Voters are thought to be split down the middle with half the country wanting to leave him in the North sea on an abandoned oil rig and the others under the impression that he should be left a lot further underwater in case he should ever think of coming back.

Dissension over ‘Govexit’, as it has been euphemistically termed, started the moment the English public first clamped their eyes on the fart-faced Tory MP and mass disquiet has been growing ever since. Speaking as though his mouth were full of golf balls the beleaguered MP for Surrey Heath blabbered, ‘I can’t see what I’ve done wrong. All that I can think is that the UK man-in-the-street is simply jealous of towering political prowess and wishes to stifle my success.’

Barry Beardsmore a beekeeper from Brixworth butted in, ‘Let’s face it, he’s as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. Let’s leave him before he tries to become PM or I’ll have to throw my television out of a window because the human toilet brush will be on there seven days a week spouting utter bollocks. I’ve made up a phrase that everyone can sing in the pub when he’s gone – ‘They think it’s all Gover. It is now!’ Brilliant!’

We hate the idiot Michael Gove – Facebook