It has come to light that a personal appearance by God on BBC 2 was overlooked this Christmas due to clash in the schedule with Mrs Brown’s Boys (BBC1 9.45 pm December 25th). Representatives for The Lord of The Universe and Creator of All Things explained that the mix up was due to last minute changes made by Old Auntie executives in the timetable that meant, ‘God was put in a ratings war with the obnoxious family show instead of going up against a re-run of Christmas Country File from 2010, which left us with no chance.’
Owing to the popularity of Mrs Brown’s Boys (the most watched Christmas TV show apart from the Queen’s speech) only one family; the Fideles from Devon, watched God’s live TV appearance but unfortunately, because they had read the instructions incorrectly for their new digi box, promptly taped over it with Die Hard II. Speaking from his house in Tiverton Mr Fideles attempted to remember what God had said, “Well He seemed quite nice really. Started off with all that ‘Unaccustomed to public speaking as I am’ sort of stuff giving the camera a wink and all that. Then after a while he became more serious saying that he doesn’t normally do this sort of thing but because the world was so messed up he had to appear to tell us to get rid of the bankers and though it seemed bad on his son’s birthday that we had to kill them or the world would never achieve its true destiny or something like that.”
Though God is reported to be upset that the UK public preferred to watch a remedial transvestite prancing around humiliating themselves instead of listening to his resonant words he was typically thoughtful about the subject, booming, “Let it be said that, for once, I did my best to save my creations.” BBC officials were thought to be very happy at the outcome of events and have commissioned fourteen more series of Mrs Brown’s Boys in case any other existential deities should try to communicate with the English public by means of the television and plead with them to save the world.
BBC claimed yet another Christmas Day ratings victory yesterday as Mrs Brown’s Boys was the most …