I had a cold
But it’s getting better
Although when I sing
The words come out of my nostrils
All kind of green and slimy
I had recently washed
That girl right out of my hair
With a special shampoo
From the local hardware store
I had my arms akimbo
Because I had to have them somewhere
And seem always to be trying
Not to upset the left wing of the family*
* I do not understand this one – my family doesn’t have a wing of any kind – but I am leaving it in anyway
I had been having a lie down
On our new Persian rug
I like to get my money’s worth
Some people thought I was dying
So I got up because I wasn’t
I had been hungry
Then I wolfed down a sausage roll
And replaced hungry
With a bit sick
I had been keeping one eye
On the television
And the other on the radio
But there was no mention on either
Of The National Tatting Championships
I had fallen asleep
In the bath
I could have drowned
But obviously I didn’t
I had noticed a goldfinch
Perched on the washing line
I knew it was a goldfinch
Because I have “The Observer’s Book of Birds”
(And also the one about horses)
I had a bit of a pain
In one of my body parts
I shall not say which one
Because you will probably laugh
I had written a poem
But it was not good by my standards
But I entered it into a competition anyway
And I won
Now I have to wear a tiara at all times
Even in bed!
I had a headache
It was the poetry tiara
I do not think the Poet Laureate
Has to wear a crown in bed
Even though he probably does
Eric Eric
.