AN ECSTATIC Britain has thanked Theresa May for calling an early general election because it just cannot get enough of politicians on the news.
The prime minister told an excited, trembling nation that it had been almost a year since the country voted on anything important and that Britain now deserved to be rewarded for its patience.
She said: “I’m sorry I took so long. I know how much you hunger for politics to dominate the news. I know you love the debates, the special editions of Question Time and the party political broadcasts that show so much respect for your intelligence.
“And I know the absolute joy you experience when a pasty-faced weirdo knocks on your door and gives you a leaflet about how much Jeremy Corbyn loves Hitler.”
Delighted voter Tom Logan said: “I’m already planning a spectacular Leaders’ Debate party for all my friends.
“But what on earth am I going to wear?”