Sonnets from Bad Idea

Sonnets from Bad Idea: overdubs of Michael Drayton’s 1619 sequence Idea



My fair, if you but register to vote, it

may speak volumes at the election.

There won’t be a second referendum now –

except in Scotland, or in the North.

Booster Bo, turbocharged with active verbs, hoists

Manx kippers, kicks Welsh chicken, across

performative scripts for his ‘Awesome Foursome’.

(Move Heaven, Earth, for revocation!)

Quarter my brain, see what I see: the sore rump

of Britain as a Gruesome Twosome,

sacrifice of countries already othered:

nationhood unthreads ethnicity.

              Governance of Earth where our two bodies melt

              in global heatwave registers now.



LVI Doggerland

When like a dogger I found my love,

fingered through the open car window,

upon the bonnet I spread her out

to prove if she’d still be in demand

after Brexit. No sooner did blokes

in wormy delight unthread their threads,

show that this is our true National Sport,

voted boss by the brave mounting brood.

And when the spumes of sweet desire filled

the air, and Go’s grove lay moist beneath

the spunky Brits, I proved that even

a no-deal leaves no-end of supply!

             Thus far from my non-exclusive breast

             her breasts bounce in self-sufficient flight.




Robert Sheppard
Illustration: Atlanta Wiggs


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