Apparently the Buddha met his end
Thanks to an excessive degree of politeness.
Though he was vegetarian, someone prepared him a meal
And the Buddha felt obliged to eat what he’d been offered.
Due to its being a bad pork chop, the Buddha died.
Clearly Buddhists keen to follow the Buddha’s example
But reluctant to share in his hapless fate
Should be ruder – ‘Don’t you know what happens to people
Who push shit to aspiring Buddhas? They get reincarnated
As used toilet paper. Now fuck off and die, shitface.’
You may think that that’s excessively rude
But whoever offers you death should be rebuffed.
Death comes soon enough without its useful idiots
Peddling its wares: guns; dead flesh; unhappiness.
Once they’ve softened you up, they can sell you syphilis.
Collage: Claire Palmer