sung of course to the Xmas carol tune of “The Seven Joys of Mary” !! :-
The first good rule that Boris had it was the rule of one
That we should all just sit at home until the bug was gone
Until the bug was gone, good man, though bumbling he may be…
Oh… we’ll track and trace and mask our face until he sets us free!
The second rule that Boris had it was the rule of two
The metres’ distance there must be between your friends and you
Between your friends and you, good man – but choirs you may not be…
Oh… we’ll track and trace and mask our face while singing out of key!
The third good rule that Boris had it was the rule of three
Appearing with two scientists upon the BBC
Upon the BBC, good man, and there for all to see…
Oh… we’ll track and trace and mask our face and watch them on TV
The fourth good rule that Boris had it was the rule of four
The months of furlough you may have – and still be shown the door
And still be shown the door, good man – bad news for employees!
So… we’ll track and trace and mask our face and take redundancy
The fifth good rule that Boris had it was the rule of five
The temporary hospitals to keep the sick alive
To keep the sick alive good man, though empty they may be…
Oh… we’ll track and trace and mask our face with Turkish PPE!
The sixth good rule that Boris had it was the rule of six
The number of our special friends that we may meet for drinks
That we may meet for drinks, good man, and sober – never fear!
Oh… we’ll track and trace and mask our face – except when drinking beer.
The seventh rule that Boris had he hasn’t told us yet
We hope it’s better than the rest – but I’ll not place a bet
Much better than the rest, good man, though how I cannot see
So…. we’ll track and trace and mask our face – for all eternity!
.