Theresa May has refused to block David Cameron recommending his own son for a knighthood in his retirement honours list. The PM has also signaled that she will not step in to stop any of the other names Cameron has put forward from receiving peerages which include; his wife, his brother, his sister, his uncle, all his other relatives dead and alive, his builder, his window cleaner, his hairdresser, his wife’s hairdresser, his dog walker, his wife’s dog walker, all his friends political or otherwise (12), his bookie, the bloke at the Threshers in Chipping Norton, the man whose car he reversed into two weeks ago when he wasn’t really thinking, anyone else he owes money and everyone in the Tory party who does not already have, at least, an O.B.E.
The Right Honorable Sir Desmond Swayne MP for New Hampshire, who also received a knighthood from Cameron, defended his old boss and repulsively bum-licked, ‘David was right to knight myself and all his family and friends. After all, what is power if it cannot be scandalously abused? Poor people just don’t understand the pressure that the rich suffer keeping all the wealth and privilege to themselves. That is why we deserve more. It’s just plain logic. If you want to hear more of this monstrous bollocks just Google me and I promise you’ll throw up.’
When confronted with claims of ‘cronyism’ and ‘jobs for the boys’ Cameron defiantly taunted, ‘Ha! They are not ALL boys and I can’t even spell that first word. One nil! And if you think that you can stop me from knighting my own son you’re mad. Haven’t you been paying attention over the past six years. Fuck that! The past thousand years. We’re the establishment. We do what we want – when we want and there’s sweet FA you filthy little oiks can do about it. Now I’m off to sip tequila sunrises under a palm tree while you toil in the rain and watch my friends go to the Queen’s house and get medals for which you paid. Fools!’
Theresa May has refused to intervene to block David Cameron’s honours list as she … But Tory MP Sir …