A whole showroom full of horses




1. A doctor of the everyday

I recently saw the doctor
about the gill sans that runs from the base of my naval
to the tip of my nose

“it’s unfortunate” said the doctor
“but I’ve seen many cases like your own”, he offered me a bowl of tomato soup
and drew a line in pencil around my hand

“this is the hand that holds you together” he shirked
there were blue spirograph pattens all over the wall
and the doctor wore glasses without lenses

he clearly wanted to make a spectacle of himself
I believe there is something quite wrong with the doctor
his practise is run by a nine year old child

on the way back to reception
the orange arrows lead to autumn, the green arrows lead to spring
it is beyond annoying. I think I dislike the doctor

my poor health keeps him in Boden jackets
one time he fixed a hole in my shoulder with glue
and said “there there, that will take a while to stick”

the last time I went to see the doctor he looked at me
with a curious smile, in his hands was a cup of colourless coffee
“do not ask about the coffee”, he said, “do not ask about the coffee”

2. A whole showroom full of horses

I woke up slightly concerned about the size of my feet
“mirror, mirror,” I called “what about the size of my feet?”

“minuscule like a mink” said the man in the mirror, I then asked
him to change his ways, “impossible” he demurred “I only have this

one setting”. I tumbled into my clown sized shoes, I had
a play date with Martina (the young girl from the doctor’s)

she is half my size but cute like a kitten bounced
by a ball of rubber bands, I took her to see ‘A whole showroom

full of zebras’ at the county hall, but on arrival I noticed
the zebras were merely horses painted black and white

“Wow” said Martina “this is really great!”. I’m not sure if
nine year old girls are sarcastic. I bought her a blueberry

and wondered about the reality of cows, their colours
when I got home my mirror threw a lemon at me

in retaliation I savaged it with a golf club, I had
a smashing time thanks, a text I sent to Martina

3. An invitation to love

go ahead and taste like my toothpaste”
Crispin Best

Cholesterol is bad for you
diamonds are good for you
fruit pastels are ok for you
soft cheese is perfect for you

the government is good for you
opium is lovely for you
swimming pools are blue for you
you are not quite right for you

hell is ok for you
bondage is restraining for you
orders conspire against you
leather invites you to love

4. “I promise that one day, everything’s gonna be better”

Nothing of value is left in this poem overnight
the contents are removed by a team of gnomes

all hailing from Oregan or West Viginia,
I forget which. it’s not really that important

I keep a large stash of words by a pile of seaside
and my sofa is stashed in the side of the outside

like a bible rolling down a slide, “like a rolling stone,
like a complete unknown”, ok computeryeah, right

an obese monk rides a donkey through my mind
debauched like an overdose on chocolate buttons

this was all terribly fun but anyway,

that gill sans I found printed from my naval to my nose
turned out to be a poem, it had four parts, I called it

something to do with horses, somewhere it started to
dribble thinly out into thin air. That is when it stopped.

Charlie Baylis

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