– Oh no, there’s a beggar outside Lidl.
– It’s alright. I’ll give him 20p.
– No! You should never give money to a beggar.
– Why not?
– It’s the slippery slope.
– How, pray?
– 20p today. 50p the next time.
– No. 20p today. That’s all.
– You say that, but next thing you know you’ll buy some sausage rolls in the shop and give him one on the way out.
– Unlikely. I never buy sausage rolls.
– Alright then. A pastie. Then next thing you know it’ll be Come to the pub, have a beer, and before you can say Jack Robinson he’s kipping in your guest room.
– Very unlikely. I don’t have a guest room.
– And he’ll invite some of his mates round, and you’ll be feeding them, and next thing you know your home’s an opium den.
– I think your imagination’s running away with you – not for the first time.
– Take my advice. Never give money to a beggar.
– Oh, actually I haven’t got any change.
– Great.
– I’ll just get him a sausage roll . . .
.
Martin Stannard