I have a friend Doreen Butler not
her real name who no matter what you
tell her you’re doing or have done or
are going to do you can bet she’s
done it and she’ll tell you the best
way to do it and she’ll be overflowing
with advice because she always knows
more about anything than you do
and she’s been this way ever since
she won Miss Condescension 1998 then
won it again in 1999 and 2000 then
they changed the rules and she was
barred from competing but that doesn’t
stop her being a pain in the fucking
arse (Doreen Butler is her real name)
FRIEND POEM (2)
I have a friend Maggie Walker not
her real name she’s been saying she’ll
come round mine for a coffee since
the Covid lockdown finished which was
about 100 years ago and whenever we
see each other she says she’ll give me
a call and we’ll fix a date and she
never calls and come to think of it
she’s never asked me to go round hers
for a coffee which to be honest I’m
thankful for because while I used to
think she was alright now I think
she’s a stuck up cow and I don’t want
to go to her house or have her in
mine (Maggie Walker is her real name)
.
C.J. Driscoll
Picture Chris Bill
.