♫ “Here comes the sugar, doo-doo-doo-doo.
Here comes the sugar, doo-doo-doo-doo, and I say…
it’s not alright…” ♫
A twinkly, tinkering summer tune
fills the afternoon sky:
(Pavlov’s dogs stand to attention:
be it hunger or nostalgia?)
A menacing mechanical melody
ensues:
its chimes a-creeping,
eerily alluring—
faster, faster,
louder, louder,
closer, closer
“…heeeere’s Mr Whippy®!”
Strategically stationed,
lying in wait,
luring the innocents
with his ‘gastronomic’ goodies
and forbidden fancies.
Naughty (but nice),
sweet (but sickly),
cartoonesque confectionery
to captivate the kiddies.
Peddling,
pushing
his saccharine stock…
“Roll up, roll up!
Don’t be shy—
sweets ’n’ treats
for all you guys—
get your sugar fix here.”
(You know you want to!)
Instant gratification
in cones of all shapes and sizes;
happiness by the tubful,
satisfaction by the mini plastic spoonful.
“Can I tempt you with a Flake®
with that?”
Syrups and sprinkles,
Slurpees® and Slushies®,
soft-serve and suchlike.
“Oh, I know—you’re sweet enough!”
(Wink, wink.)
But how about those extras?
(He doesn’t mind if you do!)
A sugar spike here,
a brain freeze there,
another lungful of diesel fumes
as you wait in line?
Artificial colourings, additives,
aspartame,
E-numbers galore,
stabilisers, emulsifiers,
regulators and more.
Not forgetting the frozen:
♫ “Lollipops, lollipops,
oh, lolly…” ♫
“Just a ‘treat’ for the young ’uns!”
I hear you cry.
Indeed—those crafty empty calories
of negligible nutrition,
fictitious ‘fruity’ fraudsters
paraded on a stick…
drips and stains and sticky fingers,
the promise to eat up all their dinners
(although they seldom do).
“OK in moderation,”
I hear you protest!
(An admission of potential harm, methinks!)
A bygone belief
born of bygone indulgences—
no need for hidden nasties
in this clean-consuming era!
Touting his timeworn ‘treats’,
ice cream van man
resumes his merry menace in the sun;
cranking up the clown music,
off to a new patch,
to new punters,
tantalising taste buds
with an ever-decreasing
freezer full of frivolous fare…
♫ “Here comes the sugar, doo-doo-doo-doo.
Here comes the sugar, doo-doo-doo-doo, and I say…
it’s not alright…” ♫
Roll up, roll up
to a new refrain.
© emma lumsden 26/08/26
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