Partying pregnant mum off her nut
The peaky fucking blinders
Self employed window cleaners
Dax’s wax
Full to the brim milk floats
Pound shops that sell things for under £1
Buses that accept loose change
Mr sizzle
Perilous pigeons so brute they can’t die
Bescot market selling fake Calvin Klein
Two Yates’s pubs
Dog muck in shop doorways
That same shop forever closing and re-opening
Out of date tax disks
Friends from school that remember you
Wolf-whistling kids cramming spam
More sausage than sushi rolls
Pubs that cash cheques
Pubs that serve anyone, just not everyone
The TV times
Curly Wurly’s and a Chomp for 25p
A celebrity called Mad Dog Deon
Someone’s big toe in the middle of a crime scene behind your Granddads house
A comedy night with Russell Brand
A Homeless guy with more friends than you and I
Blackpool in people’s dreams
A statue of Ronald in McDonalds
A Salvation Army store hidden behind Starbucks
A Salvation Army store with more customers than Starbucks
No Pret
A queue for the old fashion telephone boxes
Misuse of the words – kid and duck
Pugs on steroids chasing Staffordshire bull terriers
A man in the opticians that’s forgotten his glasses
A six-strong family all claiming JSA
Orange chips that make you sick
Flying waltzers at the fair
Cobwebs on the paintings in an art gallery
A scrap at the Sunday league cup final with two dad’s running as linesmen
Places with names like Henley N Arden
Divorce not marriage
Millionaires undercover
The wrong time on the town hall clock
A chap on the markets selling odd boots
Old £1 coins
And nothing but love x
Zack –Ashley
Illustration Mathilda