Who Am I

If my words fail me
Who am I?
A helpless windmill without wind
To drive its sails?
A cup of water splashed 
On to dust?
A tired spent force
Making arithmetic with nervous fingers?

To write is to hoe – plant and cultivate 
As an anxious gardener awaits 
Nature’s outcome 
Waiting intently 
Slightly tilted on his spade
Watching the changing seasons 
And the contours of climate 
Mass around the breeding earth 
Its torment 
Thrashing labour pains
As each vulnerable root 
Is thrust up through the damp soil 
Driven up into the arms 
Of a welcoming sun.

Am I transitory?
Am I dirt?
Don’t ask me to see the world 
In any other way 
I swear I can’t 
Stop the violence 
Hammering inside me 
That turns my hands away 
From being the artist 
To becoming the wrecker 
The pausing of the pen
The paintbrush before the page 
And the canvas 
Is the saddest moment 
They flicker there heavy 
With word and paints 
Like a candle’s dancing flame .
Forever 
Close to extinction.

 

 

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Malcolm Paul
Picture Nick Victor

 

 

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