you could not find the magazine stand, so i brought the magazine for you. you did not tell me about yourself, so i asked you what you were studying. you did not see the sunrise so i told you about the sun ascending and moon disappearing at daybreak. you flipped the pages of my notebook wanting to know what was hidden there, so i told you about the novel i was writing.
you could not ask me any more questions, so i tried commenting on the coincidence of the crackdown of our room heaters. you did not comment on the sudden warm temperatures so i did not ask if it was too hot for you. you were not talking, so i pretended to be on a call from home. you agreed to meet me instantly, so i took the time to know you. you kept my food plate back, so i thought you wanted to help me.
you did not ask why i was not eating much, so i tried to tell you i was unwell. you did not see the cut on my hand, so i hid it with my wrist watch. you showed me cat photos, so i clicked a photo of the black cat. your flatmate cooked Indian food for you, so i made Indian food for my friends. you did not ask why i went on morning walks so i did not tell you about the swans i saw. you did not ask me about my interest in tennis, so i did not ask you why you joined the tennis club.
you told me you had a meeting, so i let you go as you were
busy. you left me hanging without any reply, so i started writing again. you never paid attention to anything but my words, so i wrote words to woo you. you never told me if you liked Nature so i never told you my growing affinity to the green campus.
you made me believe it was just my crush on you, but i held the hope of hearing from you. you clarified neither in words nor in actions that i was nothing to you, so i tried to forget about you. you could not give me closure, so i went past your flat with my bag of groceries. you did not see the sun set so i never told you i wanted to see that orange glow with you. you ignored me, so i understood everyone i like won’t like me back. you did not have my attention anymore, and then i understood the magazine had meant nothing to you.
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Swarnim Agrawa
Picture JOAN BYRNE