‘How do you mend a broken etcetera?’
– Dean Young, ‘Not Trying to Win No Prizes’
First you make sure the battery
isn’t flat, check there is petrol
in the tank and that you have read
the instruction manual. Then you
wind the key, take off the brake
and press the button down:
it should move or turn at once.
If it doesn’t then repeat above
and when you are in a bad mood
call the plumber, electrician, mechanic,
and go and do something else.
Make do with candles and your bike,
perhaps shake it gently or bang
the sides, plug and unplug it
several times. Shout at it
then swear. Get it off your chest
and wear something else today.
Whatever you do, keep all packaging,
file the receipt and do not buy
extended warranties or insurance,
simmer gently and then boil
before allowing it to rest. When
you’re calm, do more of the same.
Etecetera, etcetera, etcetera.
© Rupert M Loydell