MENDING A BROKEN

etc

‘How do you mend a broken etcetera?’
Dean Young, ‘Not Trying to Win No Prizes’

 

First you make sure the battery

isn’t flat, check there is petrol

in the tank and that you have read

the instruction manual. Then you

wind the key, take off the brake

and press the button down:

it should move or turn at once.

If it doesn’t then repeat above

and when you are in a bad mood

call the plumber, electrician, mechanic,

and go and do something else.

Make do with candles and your bike,

perhaps shake it gently or bang

the sides, plug and unplug it

several times. Shout at it

then swear. Get it off your chest

and wear something else today.

Whatever you do, keep all packaging,

file the receipt and do not buy

extended warranties or insurance,

simmer gently and then boil

before allowing it to rest. When

you’re calm, do more of the same.

Etecetera, etcetera, etcetera.

 

© Rupert M Loydell

 

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