PANTY BOOBY TRAP

The End Of The World (1994)

 

 

Instant gratification? Oh yeah!
I’m definitely up for three whole days of that!
Hanky-panky swimwear, contour balconettes,
Boyleg insignia style merchants,
Beach babes, a Violet Parade of cloud swinging
Chic, sexy naked stars ‘kept secret’
Say officials, embarrassed by a panty booby trap
Memory foam blue glass armada of nymphs in Barocco
Fuchsia shorties, spacer bras and floral bouquet patterned
Midi-briefs.
Welcome back to life in the fast lane (boom boom)
Beautifully supportive expert witnesses
Supplied by Ditzy Miss Lizzie from
Gizzard Formation and Rent-a-Rave-Up
(A subsidiary of Debonair Panty Services)
Cruise backstage whispering advice and adjusting hemlines
No! You what? Right! I’m sooo excited
By the stonewash silvery blue colour
Basque and tanga set!
Hell’s bells I didn’t see that coming,
Gasped Peacock Shorty the lewd, seedy doorman
With a fake limp and a crazy steampunk girlfriend.
He rolled his eyes and
Staggered into the gents to powder his nose.
The band played Cloud Swing a ‘new thing’
Like free jazz neo-fusion meets hardcore mambo-chacha
Ha-ha. Will it be a fairy tale ending?
The private detective chewed the end of his pencil,
Withdrew into the shadows behind the hand-made
Golf and Country Club curtain-tapestry-type screen
Imported for the occasion to impart a classy air of mystery.
Hmmmm…the ‘boyleg insignia’ is the clue, he thought,
Making a note in his electronic organiser:
‘Check out Triangles Spa Pedicure, it looks odd’.
Meanwhile they hit the clubs and snogged boys
Many of whom exploded into a dozen gleaming fragments
Of poetic interpretation and deep critical theory
When the panty booby traps went off in a shower of sparks
And plumes of acrid, green smoke (laughter).

Stage magicians and aerial yoga kittens
Appeared in mid-air demonstrating artisan bakery,
Padded half-cup exercises for the over sixteens,
And origami shape-shifting stunts of hair-raising complexity.
Then they collapsed limp and dishevelled
Into the new family-friendly shopping centre (applause).
Live sport, wood-turning, more life, less choice.
That’s what we need,
Not this sordid, depraved spectacle!
Shutdown the entire scene!
Bellowed the kommissar.
Yessir, snapped the trooper.
Need a buzzer for tonight?

 

A C Evans


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