– I’m taking some books to the Oxfam. My shelves are overflowing and I can’t see the trees for the wood.
– Are you getting rid of anything decent?
– Nope. I’ve got a load of stuff old Mrs. Crabbe left me when she fell out of that tree four years ago, and I only kept them out of respect. There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted to read, and it’s time now to give them the heave-ho. I’ve run out of room.
– I never really had old Mrs. Crabbe down as much of a reader, to be honest. I always pegged her as more of a nosey-parker and curtain twitcher. And what on earth she was doing up that tree at her age I don’t know. Spying on the neighbours?
– That was the police theory.
– So what kind of stuff are you getting rid of?
– It’s mainly late 20th century, and you know I prefer the earlier chaps and chappesses, back from when people knew how to put a decent sentence together.
– Ah, the good old days! You can’t beat a good Jane Brontë.
– Indeed. I must say Ma Crabby had very contemporary tastes for an octogenarian, although I have a feeling she also had one eye on the colour scheme of her shelves.
– Never underestimate the value of colour coordination when it comes to organising your bookshelves. Are you getting rid of anything “racy” at all? Just wondering . . .
– I’m keeping those.
Martin Stannard
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