Lisa

Lisa,

Do you remember,

The sun streaming through your windows?

Do you remember,

The Waterboys and Gil Scott Heron?

Do you remember seducing me,

With gin and co-proximol?

Undressing,

getting into bed.

Asking if I’d like to join you,

Which I did,

rigid,

With my socks on.

 

Do you remember,

white tulips,

and you laughing,

saying white tulips meant innocence?

Do you remember,

You told me never to be promiscuous?

 

Do you remember,

Spending the night in the Tower suite?

You took the key from reception.

I stole wine from the cellar,

we luxuriated in a bubble bath,

Drank four hundred pound Chardonnay,

Looked out over London,

loved,

Then slept.

 

Do you remember

breaking me out of town?

London had swallowed me,

churning around in its guts.

Do you remember Totnes?

Trees seeming new,

to this mind,

lost in asphalt and opiates.

I loved you for that.

 

Do you remember you saved my life,

Packed in my job,

told me we were going travelling?

Do you remember,

Me being a mess,

Skinny and ill,

From over work

from drugs?

I drank neat gin for breakfast.

You took me to Glastonbury festival.

 

Do you remember,

The traveller’s field?

Dogs, fire and shouting,

felt like home?

Do you remember,

You had to take care of everything?

I was useless,

I drank neat gin all day.

thought that was enough.

 

Do you remember

Slippy wristbands,

getting in?

I was scared.

Do you remember pitching the tent?

I loved you for that.

 

Do you remember

Telling me

That if you ever drew a picture of me,

our relationship was over?

 

 

Do you remember

How I went to Shepton Mallet

For supplies,

came back with more

gin and Marlboro?

Happily eating

fifty magic mushrooms,

Between cannabis bread.

 

Do you remember

Christophe arriving,

How happy and surprised

I was to see him.

And you,

drawing a tiny picture of me?

 

 

 

Do you remember

He took me

To the main stage?

When the mushrooms kicked in,

knees collapsing.

The last thing I remember,

Was a Jack Russell,

Looking to finish my sandwich.

 

Do you remember

How long it took me to find the tent?

Days and nights

And when finally I found it,

heart singing,

excitedly opening the zip.

I found you in bed with Christophe.

 

Do you remember,

My illusions

Splintering?

A thousand shards,

embedding in my heart.

 

Do you remember

You looked up,

Put a finger to your lips?

Obedient and exhausted,

Complicit,

I slept outside.

 

 

 

Do you remember

You left me while

I slept?

When I woke,

Alone.

Crying for twenty four hours.

Realising no one was coming.

 

Do you remember

I never saw you or Christophe again?

 

 

Do you remember

After twenty five years

I found you?

We spoke on the phone.

 

Once I heard your voice

I knew

I could stop looking.

 

I hadn’t realised,

I had been looking.

 

Just to say thank you.

 

Just to say goodbye.

 

 

b.p.r greenland
Illustration Nick Victor