A pint of plasma can be exchanged at the Bowlers
for a good whisky;
Laphroig, Springbank, Tobermory,
with the added benefit of getting drunk faster.
A plumber’s business card, the final line reads:
“We accept plasma payment – 5% surcharge applies”.
An inch of flesh can power
an hour’s worth of Maroon 5 electricity,
3 inch square pieces can be fed into the new meters.
Blood and semen, easy donations,
mainly painless can buy bread for a week.
Ow! Hair and Beauty,
(the first W removed by witty vandals),
Their nail varnishes now 30 shades of dust.
Screams echo from the back
as customers queue palely
to have nails and teeth removed.
You only need one eye, you can adapt, survive,
If scooped out at birth, it won’t be missed
and evolution will eventually make it more central.
Mr and Mrs Marsden are doing sums,
To work out which of Constance’s lungs
and will make her wheeze along on the weaker,
providing transplants for richer asthmatics,
Warstein’s wig shop removes excess hair.
They shave new stubble and pay by the kilo
Pubic hair earns half this price,
supplements the dwindling supply of brown rice.
Dogs, cats, sheep are stolen
And returned and hour later. Bald.
Sentries guard hairy animals.
These men used to work the doors of nightclubs.
No-one leaves their houses after dark now.
with knives and spoons,
with tools and plans
to harvest your complete torso.
Knock you unconscious, break your jaw
and take the tongue,
that won’t tell your story
of ragged spaces where your fingers curled before.
Only one kidney is needed.
Illustration: Atlanta Wiggs