The Diary of a Spinster


9 a.m. Call Audrey and order “ointment”
2 p.m. Meet The Angry Spinsters outside House of Frazer
(remember to take placard)


10.30 a.m. Meet The Angry Spinsters outside Poundland
(remember to take placard and packed lunch)
3.00 p.m. Chiropodist (remember to wash feet)


10.00 a.m. Meet The Angry Spinsters – railway station foyer
(remember to take placard and Railcard)
2.00 p.m. Hairdresser (remember to clean ears)


10.30 a.m. Return library books
9 p.m. Meet The Angry Spinsters under the clock
(dark clothing only – and remember to take flashlight and rounders bat)


10.00 a.m. Taxi to Lidl
2.30 p.m. Angry Spinsters committee strategy meeting (at Pamela’s)
– remember to take gingerbread men people
6 p.m. Yoga


Martin Stannard
Illustration Nick Victor

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