Sunlit Uplands Bus Tours

Trust us, we’ve got a plan.

Everyone off the bus,

come on. Will you just look

at that view? They say on a

clear day you can see

Winston Churchill’s forehead.

OK, that’s all we’ve got

time for, ladies and gents.

Exit through the gift shop,

please. Yes, come on, that’s it,

form an orderly queue.

No, I don’t mean ‘Like lemmings

off the Cliffs of Dover.’

There’s something for everyone,

look: Uncle Edward’s hairpiece,

Mrs Jones’ old bicycle

complete with bell and basket,

George Formby’s ukulele,

Aunt Edna’s dentures. What?

The fun’s scheduled for later

with everyone’s washing

nicely Persiled. See you

on the green in your whites.

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Mark Kirkbride
Pic Claire Palmer

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Bio

Mark Kirkbride is the author of two novels, Game Changers of the Apocalypse (a semi-finalist in the 2019 Kindle Book Awards) and Satan’s Fan Club, both published by Omnium Gatherum. His short stories can be found in Under the Bed, Sci Phi Journal, Disclaimer Magazine and Flash Fiction Magazine. His poetry has appeared in the Big Issue, the Morning Star, the Mirror and Horror Writers Association chapbooks. https://markkirkbride.com/